4 years ago today!

I can't sleep tonight. It's about 11:49pm Kansas time.

I can still feel the cold in the CTICU'S room, can still smell the medications, can still feel the fears, but I have my confidences. Our Isabeau will get better,our Isabeau would be home for Christmas for the next many years.

Craig and I was sitting next to bed M, staring at our very very sick 8 days old isabeau, watching the numbers in the monitor went up and down, nurses busy writing report for the next doctor's round.

I turned to Craig," Honey, may be we should do something for the nurses."

"Yes , we should!" Craig replied without thinking twice.we then left the room. Walked to Vons, picked up some cookies and apple ciders for the nurses. Came back to the room, waited for the both long and short needles of the clock to get to the number 12.

5 mins before 12am, we poured the apple ciders into the cups, pass in to the nurses. Started the countdown, 10.., 9..., 3.., 2..., 1.....,


Merry Christmas!

It felt right, it was the warmest christmas ever. Spending the Christmas with Our first born child in the hospital was not really a great experience but I think it was all worth. Coz 4 years later today, she is happy and alive. Most importantly, she is surrounded by people who loves her in the occasion.

We wish all of you have a pleasant and wonderful Christmas this year!












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"Tho"

Izzyboo asked to watch a musical movie name "BandSlam" this morning. I said "No Tv now, too early." Mainly because I preferred her to watch something more educational. 

She looked at me and said, " I can watch Barney THO!" 

I laughed. In fact,she knows barney show has some educational value . But I laughed not because of her saying Barney but the word "THO!" lol!

"I Miss Mickey Mouse!" She sobbed.

It's about bedtime, Iz walked in to my office, stood next to me and watched me working for a few seconds.  Suddenly, I heard her sobbing, I turned over, saw her tears streaming down her face.

"What's wrong, baby?" I asked.
She sobbed and tried to put words together, " I ... I ... I.. Miss Mickey Mouse!"

Aww.. she misses Mickey Mouse.  I looked at my screen, oh yes I was working on Mickey's head.

It reminded me of 2 years ago, we took her to Disneyland when she was about 1.5 years old. Took many pictures with mickey and minnie.  She cried so hard when she had to leave them.

I have no idea why she seems to have very strong connections with the classic Disney characters. She doesn't like cartoons period. Never watched any of Disney movies and shows.  I tried many times , she is just not interested.

Tonight, she cried herself to sleep because of missing Mickey Mouse. I felt bitter and sweet at the same time seeing her crying this way.  Bitter because, who likes to see their child being sad. Sweet because I know.. I know for the fact that she just has a big heart, AND I am proud of her for who she is.  :)

Giving Thanks @5AM!

Alarm went on at 5am this morning, dragging my tired butt to the bathroom.  Washed my face, brush my teeth, and I finally was able to think why I set my alarm at 5am.

Thanksgiving Grocery Shopping!  Yes, I rather woke up early then waited in line for hour.  Put on more clothes, open the door. WOW, it was freezing cold this morning.  Got in the car, rolled down the window,turned on the radio and slowly drove off my drive way.  I can smell the air, felt the cold but my heart felt warm.

The air, the cold, the people, the lights and the musics reminded me how much we went through for the past 3+ years. Isabeau is the book of our story. From the day we found out that she has critical heart defect to the day she was born.  From the day she was born to home. From Home to therapy's clinic. From therapy clinic to her school.  Life wasn't as easy as I thought it would be years ago but it's all worth.

Thinking of her, made me think you guys. Our families, friends, doctors, nurses, therapists, teachers and etc.  She survived, because of your love. We survived because of your support.  You gave us strength, you gave us hope.  We loved to thank you all on this special day of Thanks Giving, hope you guys have a wonderful one. Love,Love and Love you all.

8 months in the uterus

Six and the half months old

A year and the half years old

Two and the half years old

Three and the half years old

Miss spider's sunny path friends

Woke up a little early this morning, sat down and watched the "Miss spider's sunny path friends" with izzyboo.

Today's story is about a spider family is teaching a dragon fly who they adopted how to fly. Finally, dragon fly learned to fly and the spider family thought it would be better of for Dragon to go to find his own family because that's only so much the spider can teach him. The day came, dragon said goodbye to every family member..

Suddenly I heard, " sob!sob," I looked down, my precious baby was sobbing silently.

I asked her, " what's wrong, babe?"

It took her a while to answer my question, " I want dragon to come back!" she started to sob again.

I can't help it but laugh and laugh. But I do have to admit tho, Izzyboo is such a sweet heart. :)

THIS IS WHAT GENIUS DO!

SOME OF HER FAV. DOLLS

HAPPY WITH HER NEW SCHOOL!

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Visitors

I felt a warm lips on my forehead, opened my eyes, it was izzyboo.

" mom," she said.

I smiled at her, then said " good morning, baby," turned my head toward craig's cell, picked it up, activated the phone. It was about 6:55am . Without me noticing, she was gone. I felt back to sleep, at least half asleep.

Heard her in the laundry room, went through some stuffs.

A broom!

She was looking for a broom. Couple seconds later she was in the living, sweeping the floor , singing " cleaning cleaning, cleaning cleaning, Troy is coming, Gabriella is coming, Barney, baby Bop n BJ toooo .."

I heard her, I just couldn't stop smiling but I m still pretend to sleep. About 5 mins, she walked in to our room, sat herself down on the floor, breathing heavily, straighten her legs, then said silently, "sit hear and wait for everybody, waiting, waiting..."

Oh gosh, that just made my whole day. The only picture I saw was snow white in the little drawfs' cabin

Big smile from the mommy n the daddy!

At yogurtland!

NO Yogurt but Gummy Bears

Home!

She color her skirt

At ENT

Stole my hat!

I have to say , "it's to cute!"

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Dude

July 4th, 2011 : 11:00pm

As every night, Iz would talk and say goodnite to God. Tonight, I am a little tired and I really want her to go to sleep as soon as possible so that I can finish my job.

Walked in to her room, laid next to her and I asked, " have u said nite nite to God?"

" Nite nite dude!" as saying it, she looked up , then giggled

" Who are u saying goodnite too?" I asked.

" God, dude," she just won't stop laughing and giggling. I stop her told her to be respectful to god.

" u think god is ur friend." I said

" yes mama, god , izzyboo's friend!"

Again she giggled!

Below are iz's july4th pics:

2PM at home!

Love the ball.. I meant I love the ball..NOt her.. LOL!

CBS Studio! 5PM

Making her own skirt, she picked the colors.. decided when to dye..
it's turned out rainbow colors. No planning a head!

CBS Studio, Stages~

Making Plane and test flied it!

executive cart!

Totally dancing with a stranger. Too COOL!

Have no idea what the heck was that...

Izzyboo watching fireworks real time...

My daughter, Isabeau!

Sitting on the beach, watching the curving waves,listening to the symphony of the waves,
Smelling the salted water when the wind blows, and feeling the magical warmth of the sun.

I looked around, seeing some kids playing in the water, some kids walking on the rocks. I wonder.. I wonder how many of these kids went through what Iz went through. May be worse? May be half of it?May be none?

Is that important? Nah! What important is she is alive, she is here, and she is happy. I don't know what the future is for her but who does. Life is very unpredictable and all I know is to provide her what I can and what I have which is L.O.V.E and T.I.M.E.

I turned to her, She was sitting in the edge of the blanket, feet on the sands, the sands between her toes, playing with her beach toys, digging and dumping sands. Looking at beautiful face, it brought tears to my eyes.

"Mommy, come sit next to izzyboo." she turned to me and saw me tears. She immediately stood up, walked to me, gave me a hug , a kiss and asked, "Are you ok, mommy?"

"I am ok, boo! Mommy loves seeing you around and love you for who you are.Just remember, you are Isabeau and be Isabeau. Never ever forget who you r and where you are from. Most importantly, never give up in things that you believe in.."

"Mom, play with Izzyboo." she interrupted me. I smiled and said, "Go,Go,Go!"

We played for a while, then I laid down, facing the sky, all I could think of was "My daughter is the loveliest gift from God!"

"Ha Ha I got you!"

Another Friday, another therapy's day. Appointment was at 5pm, got to the hospital at about 4:41pm. As usual we would take our time to the therapy's floor.

Stop by the second floor ,walked by the CTICU . Usually we would see parents outside the ICU but today we saw 4 people with hawaii theme outfit and a trolly full of playdohs. A woman saw Iz , obviously she saw her scar and she asked" would you like to have the playdohs?" izzyboo just smiled, that lady handed me a package of 24 playdols. Super nice and it reminded me so much about the past three years.

Got to the therapy floor at about 5pm, the OT walked out , greeted IZ. She took Iz to the gym , then to another sit down activities' room for the last half of the session. 15 mins before the session ended, the OT came to the waiting room to get me. Walked in to the room, I saw Iz sat in front of a toy which is to use to test her two hand coordination skill. The OT didn't look too impress with Iz's skill, she said miss Izzyboo didn't seems to know what to do even tho after she demonstrated to her.

I sat next to Iz, all I need to say was, " show her or No HSM, No Glee, No Barney" she looked at me , she turned back to the toys, did exactly what need to be done, turned to look at the OT and she smiled. The smile seems to tell her, " Ha Ha I got you,"

I looked at the OT, waited for more comments and she said, " Nevermind!"

Iz is such a "B"!!

Her Happy Morning! 

On her way to school!

Swimming with Miss Allison

Swimming Mr. Jeff!

Got to see Lindsay again for the first time after 3 months! 

Playdohs from the Hospital!

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Footsteps

3:00am :07:01:11

I was awakes since 3am for my work. Love waking up in the morning, love to smell the fresh air, the green, to feel the rhythm of the moving plants. Just reminded me so much of my old house, my school, my books, my friends and my family.

After couple minutes of enjoying the morning , sat myself now in front of the computer, pulled all the files I need for the project.. suddenly I heard footsteps coming my way. I thought, " Oh NO!, Not again?!"

Couple seconds later, a very smily face, walked towards me. It was the little monster who always wake up happy.. Just love the smiley face!

" Why are you up so early, baby boo?" I asked her with my welcome hands.

" Mommy work, izzyboo sit next to mommy, izzyboo use iPad," she replied without answering my question. I thought it was pretty cute when she first said that 3 days ago but dude it's been three days, she sat next to me playing with her iPad until I m done with my work.

Coz, I felt bad after 20 mins, turned my computer into a sleep mode, I turned to her..

" let's go sleep , baby girl,"

"Ok, sleep with my iPad too," she said that as we were walking out. I turned off the light behind me. Another not productive but loving night!

07/01/2011 :3:25AM

06/30/2011 

06/30/2011

07/01/2011

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