How do you feel about your little brother?

Before we start reading the bed time stories last night, I asked Iz if we can spend a little time to just talk. She was like " ok!" 

"So tell me about how do U feel about your little Ike? Sad? Mad? Jealous? " I asked her. I intentionally not to mention any positivie word. Coz, I want to see how does she really feel about the whole new little brother thingy. 

I also said, "It's ok if you feel bad about it. I won't get mad.. i just want to know how you feel." I smiled at her.. 


"Happy!" she answered me without any hesitations. 

"Why are you happy?" I asked again.

"Because I get to sleep next to him, I get to say ang gugu to him, he also have to drink milk just like me..." she replied. I tried not to laugh.


Then, I asked again,"Do you feel mad every time you have to wait for mommy to be finished with baby Ike, then do your routines?" 

" It's ok , mommy! I can wait! While waiting I can watch Super Why and Umizoomie. Just make sure you play the memory game with me after you done with baby brother tho." she smiled

"You have to learn to take care and love each other when you guys are older ok?"  I continued, "it's ok to fight over things, disagree with each other, mad at each other but always remember to love each other doesn't matter what happened in the future.... " 

"Where are you going , mommy?" she interrupted me. 

"Oh, I am not going any where but to be around to see you guys fight n love over things." I smiled. 

"Ok! Please don't go anywhere. So can we read now?" she giggled. I said ok. 

Then we started to read but I couldn't help to think how good, nice, mature and patience of her to deal with the new addition. It kinda break my heart hearing her asked where am I going when I told her to love each other.

She always asked to sleep next to him

Love possing with him

Isabeau @ Starlight Gala 2012

6 weeks before may 17th 2012, craig told me that he was asked to give a speech at the Starlight Children Foundation Events and he wanted to know if it's ok with me to share Isabeau's story on stage. Without thinking I said "yes!". Cause it would help the organization to raise more money for the very sick children. 

2 weeks before the event, Craig came to me again, told me that Starlight would like the family to be on stage with the speaker.

"No!" I yelled out before he even finished his sentence. Yea, I can be super rude some time ( but my friends would say ALL THE TIME!). LOL 

Then I continued,"Are u kidding me? Iz will go crazy, running around and I really don't want to chase after her in front of hundreds of people."  Deep in me, I didn't want to be on the spotlight while I am still weight 155lbs. No kidding! 

Craig replied,"Don't worry, Honey.  It will be quick!" 

"No way, I am not to sure..." before I finished my sentence, I heard Ike crying for food. So I left the room to the kitchen.  Our convo ended without a conclusion. 

The 17th was here. I just remembered what the plan was then I thought "It is what it is!" but I need to warn Iz not to run around on stage. 

We got to the Beverly Hotel at about 6:30pm, took couple pictures and Iz was doing pretty good so far except asking to go potty  5x in an hour. It's her way to get away being on the table. Event started with Bailee Madison and Bryan Callen  on stage , brieftly described about the event and made couple small jokes, then auction etc. Iz was in love with Bailee. 

8:50pm, a guy came by our table to lead us to the side of the stage.  Getting us ready for the speech. 

9pm, Craig was on stage, Iz and I were waiting for him to finish his speech then joined him on stage. His speech was a little more then 8 mins but that 8 mins felt like 4 years. I cried .. I sobbed during the speech and I was sure there were many of them were just like me. It took me back to when Iz was born, 1st, 2nd and 3rd surgeries. A painful long 2.5 years. 

Craig's speech --- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPBO1aipLbk&feature=share

I cried.. I sobbed not because I feel sad, Not because I feel the pain, Not because I feel the unfairness but  just simply because I feel proud, I feel love , I feel bless and I feel lucky that she is still very much alive...  Just alive and make our day so meaningful every single day. 

9:09pm : we were introduced by craig to the people. Iz ran to the stage and gave daddy a big big hug. I was in the back of her. Daddy picked her up, so that she can see the people and so that people can see this little sweet heart. In that moment, I suddenly heard many many applauses, people stood up to welcome her, to support her, to appreciate her, to show how proud they were of her.  It was a very very touching moment.

And.. And .. That little girl too clapped her hands then put both of her hands in front of her mouth, waited for people to stop and sit down, then she gave the bigger blow kisses ever. I was like OMG, I never taught her that, all I told her was NOT to run around. Once again, she amazed me. 

People came by to say hi to her, told us how touching the story was. But Iz was just not in the mood of standing there to say hi, she ran to Bailee, tried to get her to play with her.  Eventually, Bailee offered babysit Iz. 

We left at about 11:00 pm, Iz was talking about the bands who sang at the events.  Couple mins later, I heard nothing, I turned around to check on her, she crushed in her car seat.  Looking at her beautiful face, I thought she is such a happy, amazing little angel. Just Just Just so bless to have her in out life. 

Congrats to Ted Price( Craig's boss), Insomniac Games for owning the title of "Heart of Gold". This award is presented to individuals with generous hearts and a deep commitment to children.  He is pretty awesome blossom right?! 

She heard and saw people clapped their hands, so she did that too!

Giving the bigger blow kisses ever!

Handed the " Heart of Gold Award" to Ted Price ( Daddy's boss)

Ted Price & Daddy Goodman

4 years ago today!

I can't sleep tonight. It's about 11:49pm Kansas time.

I can still feel the cold in the CTICU'S room, can still smell the medications, can still feel the fears, but I have my confidences. Our Isabeau will get better,our Isabeau would be home for Christmas for the next many years.

Craig and I was sitting next to bed M, staring at our very very sick 8 days old isabeau, watching the numbers in the monitor went up and down, nurses busy writing report for the next doctor's round.

I turned to Craig," Honey, may be we should do something for the nurses."

"Yes , we should!" Craig replied without thinking twice.we then left the room. Walked to Vons, picked up some cookies and apple ciders for the nurses. Came back to the room, waited for the both long and short needles of the clock to get to the number 12.

5 mins before 12am, we poured the apple ciders into the cups, pass in to the nurses. Started the countdown, 10.., 9..., 3.., 2..., 1.....,


Merry Christmas!

It felt right, it was the warmest christmas ever. Spending the Christmas with Our first born child in the hospital was not really a great experience but I think it was all worth. Coz 4 years later today, she is happy and alive. Most importantly, she is surrounded by people who loves her in the occasion.

We wish all of you have a pleasant and wonderful Christmas this year!












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"Tho"

Izzyboo asked to watch a musical movie name "BandSlam" this morning. I said "No Tv now, too early." Mainly because I preferred her to watch something more educational. 

She looked at me and said, " I can watch Barney THO!" 

I laughed. In fact,she knows barney show has some educational value . But I laughed not because of her saying Barney but the word "THO!" lol!

"I Miss Mickey Mouse!" She sobbed.

It's about bedtime, Iz walked in to my office, stood next to me and watched me working for a few seconds.  Suddenly, I heard her sobbing, I turned over, saw her tears streaming down her face.

"What's wrong, baby?" I asked.
She sobbed and tried to put words together, " I ... I ... I.. Miss Mickey Mouse!"

Aww.. she misses Mickey Mouse.  I looked at my screen, oh yes I was working on Mickey's head.

It reminded me of 2 years ago, we took her to Disneyland when she was about 1.5 years old. Took many pictures with mickey and minnie.  She cried so hard when she had to leave them.

I have no idea why she seems to have very strong connections with the classic Disney characters. She doesn't like cartoons period. Never watched any of Disney movies and shows.  I tried many times , she is just not interested.

Tonight, she cried herself to sleep because of missing Mickey Mouse. I felt bitter and sweet at the same time seeing her crying this way.  Bitter because, who likes to see their child being sad. Sweet because I know.. I know for the fact that she just has a big heart, AND I am proud of her for who she is.  :)

Giving Thanks @5AM!

Alarm went on at 5am this morning, dragging my tired butt to the bathroom.  Washed my face, brush my teeth, and I finally was able to think why I set my alarm at 5am.

Thanksgiving Grocery Shopping!  Yes, I rather woke up early then waited in line for hour.  Put on more clothes, open the door. WOW, it was freezing cold this morning.  Got in the car, rolled down the window,turned on the radio and slowly drove off my drive way.  I can smell the air, felt the cold but my heart felt warm.

The air, the cold, the people, the lights and the musics reminded me how much we went through for the past 3+ years. Isabeau is the book of our story. From the day we found out that she has critical heart defect to the day she was born.  From the day she was born to home. From Home to therapy's clinic. From therapy clinic to her school.  Life wasn't as easy as I thought it would be years ago but it's all worth.

Thinking of her, made me think you guys. Our families, friends, doctors, nurses, therapists, teachers and etc.  She survived, because of your love. We survived because of your support.  You gave us strength, you gave us hope.  We loved to thank you all on this special day of Thanks Giving, hope you guys have a wonderful one. Love,Love and Love you all.

8 months in the uterus

Six and the half months old

A year and the half years old

Two and the half years old

Three and the half years old

Miss spider's sunny path friends

Woke up a little early this morning, sat down and watched the "Miss spider's sunny path friends" with izzyboo.

Today's story is about a spider family is teaching a dragon fly who they adopted how to fly. Finally, dragon fly learned to fly and the spider family thought it would be better of for Dragon to go to find his own family because that's only so much the spider can teach him. The day came, dragon said goodbye to every family member..

Suddenly I heard, " sob!sob," I looked down, my precious baby was sobbing silently.

I asked her, " what's wrong, babe?"

It took her a while to answer my question, " I want dragon to come back!" she started to sob again.

I can't help it but laugh and laugh. But I do have to admit tho, Izzyboo is such a sweet heart. :)

THIS IS WHAT GENIUS DO!

SOME OF HER FAV. DOLLS

HAPPY WITH HER NEW SCHOOL!

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