Happy 1825 Days, Baby Girl!

1824 days ago today at about 9 pm, NaiNai, PakPak, daddy and I were sitting in the living room in our north hollywood's house. Pakpak was tunning his guitar , about to sing a song he wrote for you. I felt the sharp pain again that I had the whole night a day before except this time was every 7 -8 mins apart. I thought I just need to go to the bath room.  Sat there for couple sec, went back to the living. PakPak started to sing the song he wrote for you, " Isabeau" .Just that you know, it was beautiful.  Ask him to sing it for you when you sees him next time. 

My pain wasn't getting any better, I excused myself, went back to the bathroom.  Sat there for a few mins, daddy came in to check on me. I told him and insisted him not to tell NaiNai and PakPak coz I didn't think you would come since the doc going to induce me in a few hours.  But daddy worried, went to tell NaiNai.NaiNai had him called the doctor. NaiNai came in sat next to me in the bed, held my hand, told me just squished her hand everytime I felt the pain.  After talking to the doc, daddy walked in and said, " let's pack, doc wants us to check in now."  

We moved pretty quickly, got in the car and the next thing I know was i was in the hospital bed, covered with blankets over blackets, daddy and Nainai were sitting on chairs next to my bed, and Pakpak was the sofa next to the window.  A Russian nurse walking in and out monitoring your movement. I told the nurse, " this is really NOt fun at all.." and her answered was, "this is called labor!"Dr. Gumb came in 30 mins later, looked at the chart , turned to us and said,"We need to have a C-section." She didn't think you can wait any longer. We never talked about that option, it just freaked me out listening to her explaining to us the risks of having C-section. I started to shake really really bad, nurses came in to do the blood work and put in the IV.

 Another 25 mins passed by, couple nurses came in and said, " IT's time!"  they handled daddy some scrub, had him to put it on and waited outside the operating room.  They pushed me in, it was freezing cold in there. Still shaking really bad, 3 nurses had to hold me while they injected me with epidural. Once again, I thought this was not fun at all. Daddy walked in a few mins later, I was still covered with blankets but my face was so itchy so the first thing i said to him was, "Could you please scratch my nose?" This is another famous line that night. 

Anyway, Dr Gumb asked, "Are you ready?"  then she continued explaining what she was doing while doing it. I didn' feel a thing, no sure how long later, I felt the push and pull... 

Then we heard, " It's a girl, 1:32am..."  a tear streamed down my face. 

 I wasn't sure why.. But one thing I know was we have a beautiful baby girl even tho I didn't get to see your face until 16 hours later. We were born 1825 days ago. Today is your day.. a day of celebration .. and today is also a day to remember all the people who help you to get here... who walked side by side with you.. who care and love you..


Happy 1825 days to our beautiful daughter!

1st bday, auntie Becky was holding you!

2nd bday, pictured by auntie Ida

3rd bday, the banner behind you was from Christopher.

4th bday, pictured by Karrie (Christopher's mommy)

5th bday, Pictured by Miss Linda

A letter to Isabeau: Even tho you have half a heart

Hello baby girl, 

You asked me this morning if you can bring a box of your fav. candy cane to school to share it with her friends. I said sure but only if you get the permission from you teacher before you share it. 

Got to school, after giving your teachers the flowers to show your appriciation, you asked Miss Usma about sharing the candies,she smilled and said, "Of coz!".  You started to share your candies with each of your little friends in class. You got one yourself, then put it in your cubby. 

Couple seconds later, you saw a little boy sitting in the corner, you went to Miss Usma to try to get a candy for him but Miss Usma was busy talking to one of the parents. You stood there for a sec then walked towards your chubby, grabbed your own candy , walked to the boy and gave it to him. 


I was in a "WOW" reaction, I am so so so so so proud of you baby.  You don't mind giving up your fav candy for your friend. I have to say I think what you did was really really awesome.  That was super nice of you. XO! 

You are a giver, you made me want to give you more then what you need.  I am extremely happy and can't wait to share this little thing you did with everyone who would be proud of you too.  

All I want to tell you is, " Even tho you have only HALF a HEART, You have a big and good heart. So be proud of yourself. "  

Love ya, 
Your proud Mama

A letter to Isabeau: Media interviews

Dear baby girl,

Last month (September) had been really crazy for all of us.  As you know, we did the Heart Walk by AHA this year (2012). [If you remember it].  :)  American Heart Association invited us to spread the words by using your amazing story. Daddy and I agreed to do so even tho we were super busy. We both think it's time to do what and why you are here for.

We had to go back to all the pictures of you when you were really little, when you were in the hospital with your chest open. you messed up feets due to all the poking, tubes sticking out from your body and those EKG wires attached to your body.  WOW, painful.. really painful to even look at it. I have no idea how many nights I cried myself to sleep but it was all worth. Because we get to help people , some of us need to be braved, need to get up to tell the stories.

You will be surprised how much a story like yours would be able to help others. To comfort them, to give them hope, to tell them everything will be ok and to tell them giving up is NOT an option.  Most importantly is to show them never ask why it happened but instead to face it, and to do what needs to be done.

So, we got total of 4 interviews and a speech at toyota charity campaign which was to encourage to help others. The 4 interviews were included LA-18 interviewed by Juliette Zhuo, KTLA 5 by Lu Parker(Miss USA 1994), NDT-TV by Mandy Huang and XXXX ( still trying to find out who I talked to at the Heart walk) .. Yea.. funny huh?!

I think the interviews went ok. They had to summarize your stories into 3-5 mins time. They did a good job in sending out the important message.  I also glad to see you had fun with Lu Parker, you guys played princess tea party for a while then balls all over your room. Seeing you jumping up and down ensured me that we were doing the right thing to let you go public.

Here were the schedules of when the media aired your story:

1) LA-18: Sept 24, 2012  |  5:30pm

2) KTLA 5 : Sept 28, 2012 | 9:00am & 6:00pm

9am news
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbJ1B44uR90
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22GTVIFz4jU

6pm news
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLVB4GwWWLc
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUa-Emp_LdA

3) NDT-TV : Sept 30, 2012
- http://www.ntdtv.com/xtr/b5/2012/09/30/a772800.html

4) XXXX: Unknown

One last thing is there was a line I loved by KTLA5 is "This little girl teaches the world scars are beautiful." One day you will question why these scars, you might mind, you might hate it but little girl.. this scars are  you and because of these scars, you helped thousand and thousand of people you didn't even know.And that scars of yours has many many stories to tell. So be PROUD of yourself.. you are BEAUTIFUL in every way just like your mother. LOL!!!

Love you always, Your Mama.

Do you know Tooth Fairy has a name?

September 28,2012

Izzyboo lose her first tooth today.  Craig told her the tooth fairy's story, told her to look for money underneath her pillow when she woke up in the morning.

She interrupted , then asked," What's tooth fairy's name?"

I overheard her from my home office, I yelled out with a laugh, "It's Tooth's fairy, Izzybooboo!"

"NO, she has a name.  All fairies have name." She said it out loud then continued, "Just like the winter fairy's name is Perry winkler, the garden's fairy's name is Rosetta, the light fairy's name is iridessa..."

"So, what do you think Tooth Fairy's name is?" Craig intterupted her.

" emmm..emmm..emm.. I think the tooth fairy's name is Olivia!" she smiled really really big.

I was like dang, I worked for Disney for so long and I didn't even know all those disney fairies has their  own power.

So guys, the Tooth Fairy's name is OLIVIA.  :)

Tonight is harder then any other nights, this month is harder then any other months

Tonight is harder then any other nights:

Got to spend some alone time with Iz this afternoon.  On our way to get some afternoon snacks, she said, "Mommy, I like you a lot!"

I thought it was pretty cute and sweet, " Aww, I like you a lot too.  But why do you like me?"  I asked.

"Because you always stay with me, give me all your time, take good care of me, be in the hospital with me..." she said all that without thinking twice.

That was the sweetest thing ever!

Tonight, lying down next to her, looking down her beautiful face, I couldn't help to think what would happen to me if anything CRAZY happen to her especially with her heart condition. What's her future which  I HATE when people asking about her future and all my responds were, " do you know your future?"

All those crazy thoughts went away when I felt her wrapping her hands over my arms. But I still feel my heartache.... It made me wonder why am I feeling this kind of pain which I haven't had for a couple years.  I think it was because I have to constantly try to remember what is her heart conditions, her surgeries and how I felt all about Isabeau as a spoke person for AHA this month.

I certainly don't like the pain I am feeling but REALLY.. If being a spoke person for AHA can help them to raise more money to safe lives.. why not, right?  As I always say Isabeau is here for a reason and Isaac is here for another.He is here for a big sister and I know he will be looking after her for us 20 years later .. 30 years later or may 40 years later.

So, I think this month is harder then any other months.

Giving up is NEVER an option!

2 days ago, Iz's gymnastic's coach called, told me that she is planning to add Izzyboo to her big kids's classes. She wanted to know what I think about it.

Of Coz, I am more then ok with that.  Super happy cause all hard works of hers finally paid off.  It reminded me about a year ago when I first enrolled her to a 3 years old beginner classes.  She couldn't do 80% of the activities the other kids did. Other parents saw her, they would ask me how old she was. Some parents saw her scar on her chest, they would ask if she can do gymnastic? Some would have that pity look in their faces. I wasn't sure how I should feel but one thing for sure was I accepted who she was and I thought even tho she did nothing but she was happy to be here.. that's already worth a million dollars.

But, I don't want Iz to feel bad of not be able to do most of the activities, I would tell her, " Iz, mommy is so happy that you did so so so good today." Then she would just smiled and said , "thank you!"

A month later, I moved her to take private lessons. Have the coach trained her one on one. It wasn't easy for her. She was still pretty weak from her last surgery. Then I asked her if she really wanted to do gymnastic because I really don't want to force her to do anything that she wasn't even interested. Without thinking twice, she said YES!  I told myself  if this little 3 years old not giving up, why should I? Out come is really not the most important thing, what important is the process of it.

And today, a year later... she will get train with bigger kids.  How cool is that? I am a proud mama once again...

Yummy Legs

This week achievement!

Nice and Fast

He LOVES LOVES LOVES with his sister!

How do you feel about your little brother?

Before we start reading the bed time stories last night, I asked Iz if we can spend a little time to just talk. She was like " ok!" 

"So tell me about how do U feel about your little Ike? Sad? Mad? Jealous? " I asked her. I intentionally not to mention any positivie word. Coz, I want to see how does she really feel about the whole new little brother thingy. 

I also said, "It's ok if you feel bad about it. I won't get mad.. i just want to know how you feel." I smiled at her.. 


"Happy!" she answered me without any hesitations. 

"Why are you happy?" I asked again.

"Because I get to sleep next to him, I get to say ang gugu to him, he also have to drink milk just like me..." she replied. I tried not to laugh.


Then, I asked again,"Do you feel mad every time you have to wait for mommy to be finished with baby Ike, then do your routines?" 

" It's ok , mommy! I can wait! While waiting I can watch Super Why and Umizoomie. Just make sure you play the memory game with me after you done with baby brother tho." she smiled

"You have to learn to take care and love each other when you guys are older ok?"  I continued, "it's ok to fight over things, disagree with each other, mad at each other but always remember to love each other doesn't matter what happened in the future.... " 

"Where are you going , mommy?" she interrupted me. 

"Oh, I am not going any where but to be around to see you guys fight n love over things." I smiled. 

"Ok! Please don't go anywhere. So can we read now?" she giggled. I said ok. 

Then we started to read but I couldn't help to think how good, nice, mature and patience of her to deal with the new addition. It kinda break my heart hearing her asked where am I going when I told her to love each other.

She always asked to sleep next to him

Love possing with him

Isabeau @ Starlight Gala 2012

6 weeks before may 17th 2012, craig told me that he was asked to give a speech at the Starlight Children Foundation Events and he wanted to know if it's ok with me to share Isabeau's story on stage. Without thinking I said "yes!". Cause it would help the organization to raise more money for the very sick children. 

2 weeks before the event, Craig came to me again, told me that Starlight would like the family to be on stage with the speaker.

"No!" I yelled out before he even finished his sentence. Yea, I can be super rude some time ( but my friends would say ALL THE TIME!). LOL 

Then I continued,"Are u kidding me? Iz will go crazy, running around and I really don't want to chase after her in front of hundreds of people."  Deep in me, I didn't want to be on the spotlight while I am still weight 155lbs. No kidding! 

Craig replied,"Don't worry, Honey.  It will be quick!" 

"No way, I am not to sure..." before I finished my sentence, I heard Ike crying for food. So I left the room to the kitchen.  Our convo ended without a conclusion. 

The 17th was here. I just remembered what the plan was then I thought "It is what it is!" but I need to warn Iz not to run around on stage. 

We got to the Beverly Hotel at about 6:30pm, took couple pictures and Iz was doing pretty good so far except asking to go potty  5x in an hour. It's her way to get away being on the table. Event started with Bailee Madison and Bryan Callen  on stage , brieftly described about the event and made couple small jokes, then auction etc. Iz was in love with Bailee. 

8:50pm, a guy came by our table to lead us to the side of the stage.  Getting us ready for the speech. 

9pm, Craig was on stage, Iz and I were waiting for him to finish his speech then joined him on stage. His speech was a little more then 8 mins but that 8 mins felt like 4 years. I cried .. I sobbed during the speech and I was sure there were many of them were just like me. It took me back to when Iz was born, 1st, 2nd and 3rd surgeries. A painful long 2.5 years. 

Craig's speech --- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPBO1aipLbk&feature=share

I cried.. I sobbed not because I feel sad, Not because I feel the pain, Not because I feel the unfairness but  just simply because I feel proud, I feel love , I feel bless and I feel lucky that she is still very much alive...  Just alive and make our day so meaningful every single day. 

9:09pm : we were introduced by craig to the people. Iz ran to the stage and gave daddy a big big hug. I was in the back of her. Daddy picked her up, so that she can see the people and so that people can see this little sweet heart. In that moment, I suddenly heard many many applauses, people stood up to welcome her, to support her, to appreciate her, to show how proud they were of her.  It was a very very touching moment.

And.. And .. That little girl too clapped her hands then put both of her hands in front of her mouth, waited for people to stop and sit down, then she gave the bigger blow kisses ever. I was like OMG, I never taught her that, all I told her was NOT to run around. Once again, she amazed me. 

People came by to say hi to her, told us how touching the story was. But Iz was just not in the mood of standing there to say hi, she ran to Bailee, tried to get her to play with her.  Eventually, Bailee offered babysit Iz. 

We left at about 11:00 pm, Iz was talking about the bands who sang at the events.  Couple mins later, I heard nothing, I turned around to check on her, she crushed in her car seat.  Looking at her beautiful face, I thought she is such a happy, amazing little angel. Just Just Just so bless to have her in out life. 

Congrats to Ted Price( Craig's boss), Insomniac Games for owning the title of "Heart of Gold". This award is presented to individuals with generous hearts and a deep commitment to children.  He is pretty awesome blossom right?! 

She heard and saw people clapped their hands, so she did that too!

Giving the bigger blow kisses ever!

Handed the " Heart of Gold Award" to Ted Price ( Daddy's boss)

Ted Price & Daddy Goodman